Reminders

Beneath the cynical parts of me that say that I'm probably going to end up alone-- somewhere deep beneath that, in the depths of who I really am-- is a hopeless romantic. Forgive my dramatic words, but it's true.

See, here lately I've been battling the single blues. In the words of Relient K , "it always hurt to be all by myself this time of year, cold and lonely Christmas Eve." This time of year is a wonderful, beautiful time of year, but not having someone to share the beauty with can be tough at times. Not to say that I don't have a wonderful family and wonderful friends; I do. I couldn't ask for better. But it's not the same as having that one person who is the other part of you. I don't truly know what that feels like, but I have an idea. I know what it's like when someone has all of you and you have at least a part of them in return.

But I'm getting off topic. See, December is one of my favorite months. My niece has a birthday, my birthday isn't long after hers, then my parents and one of my brothers have their anniversaries, then there's Christmas. There's so much celebration and beauty, but as stated, sometimes you just want that one person to share it with.

Deep down inside, I believe that there is someone out there who is waiting to find me. He's not perfect. He's a little rough around the edges, just like me. I pray for him and he prays for me and I think that we both probably want to meet each other YESTERDAY, but we're both waiting because we know that God has better timing than we do.

How do I know all that? Because of reminders. What do I mean? I'll explain.

A few weeks ago, I was walking to my car after work, when the wind blew a small leaf from a nearby tree and continued to blow so that the leaf was stuck to the side of my neck. I grabbed it and when my instinct said to discard it because it was just a random leaf, something inside of me said: "Keep that. It's a kiss." I kept it. A few days later, I found a leaf in the seat of my car... After I had gotten out and closed the door. I thought back to the other leaf. Not long after that, another leaf made its way into the doorpocket of my car.

I know what you're thinking. "It's fall. Leaves are everywhere and end up everywhere." But there's something about it. I felt like these leaves were reminders from God that someone is thinking of me and praying for me as much as I pray for him. Just as I've prayed that God would send him a hug from me and let him know that I'm thinking of him, he's prayed for his own kind of reminders. Maybe the reminders will change as the seasons change, but I know they'll keep coming.

Just a note to you, whoever you are: one day, after we've met and I'm certain you're the one I was talking about, I'll tell you all of this. Until then, I'll keep praying that God would prepare both of us-- that He would consume us, take over all that we are-- so that we're ready for when our paths finally converge and we begin running toward the same goal.

I'll be seeing you.