Easy To Ignore

It's amazing how a person's tastes can change over the course of a decade. If you had asked me back in the day what I thought of the band Sixpence None The Richer I would have told you that I hated them and that Leigh Nash had an annoying voice.

Well, life has a funny way of playing little tricks on you. I'd become accustomed to their music, but I still didn't "like" them, per se. But today, I hopped into my car and when I found nothing good on the radio, I reached for the Sixpence tape my sister had left in there ages ago. I pushed it into the tape deck and the radio sprang to life. It could have been any song on that particular tape, but it had to be the track that describes so well a feeling I've had often of late. What song? you may ask. Well, I should think the title of this blog would give it away, but for those who are a little slow on the uptake, it was "Easy To Ignore."

The second verse and the chorus really stood out:

You let your song blow right through me
Your mighty intellect makes it mighty hard to see you
Will there come a time for me to be
More to you and more to me?

Oh, and night breaks
My heart couldn't ache
Any more
Am I that easy to ignore?


You see, not long ago the man whom I thought was the love of my life broke up with me. Ok, so callig him a man is a bit of a stretch. "Boy" is a more appropriate term. Hey, I'm just being honest. Anyway, one of the most difficult parts of the whole thing has been the fact that he and I don't really talk anymore. It's like talking to a stranger who knows everything there is to know about you. You know each other's secrets, but there's still this huge wall there that wasn't there before.

But when I look back on things-- on my relationship with him-- the more I see that verse come to life.

You let your song blow right through me...
We had our little list of "Wedding Songs," that you and I wanted played at the reception we were planning. Well, bud, I guess you see how that worked out, huh? I can still listen to those songs, but sometimes it's like a knife digging once again into an old wound.

Your mighty intellect makes it mighty hard to see you...
Have you ever felt and been made to feel like you're not worth much? Like you need to change to earn someone's attention? Yeah... That was me. Even if they were "accidental," the putdowns and comparisons to other women really make it hard for a woman to flourish. It was just a subtler form of bullying. You were so insecure-- so focused on you-- that you couldn't acknowledge much good about me.

Will there come a time for me to be more to you and more to me?
Would I ever truly exceed your expectations or would I forever feel like a failure? I needed you to show me that I'm more than I thought I could be.

Oh, and night breaks...
I'm most honest with myself at night. I can look back at you and I and see us with the most objectivity.

My heart couldn't ache any more...
Than when you made me like an acquaintance to you...

Am I that easy to ignore?
You said that I was the best thing that ever happened to you and that you could never love another woman as much as you loved me. What happened to that? How could you just give me up like that, if I was truly that important? You didn't even fight for me and you won't even talk to me anymore.

Am I that easy to ignore?